News
I got you!
Developer: Poby, Virus, or Jeansole?
Platforms: Arcade
First Release Date: 1993
I don’t know why it’s called News. News is a Korean Puyo Puyo knockoff released in 1993 by credited to "Poby"- or to "Virus", if you flip one of the dip switches? Or, on a revision of the game, it's credited to Jeansole, with rights reserved by Poby...? It's a mystery. The title screen background and the music were taken from Soldam and its fantastic soundtrack, namely a sped up version of “Theme of Sekiero". The gameplay is lifted from Puyo, but it also isn’t quite one to one- difficulty increases by adding more colors, up to at least seven. I tried for a while to see if there were any colors beyond that, but it turns out that seven Puyo colors is an irresponsible amount. It's simply unsustainable. Also, one of your rotate buttons will activate a special piece that slowly, agonizingly turns blocks below it to the same color. I think you only get one of these the whole round, so use it wisely, and not accidentally two seconds in.
News features shadowed pictures of women in the background that slowly light up as you make matches. There are some very similar knockoff puzzle games like News that are explicit, and use similar “slowly reveal the picture” systems- but oddly enough, I think News is entirely chaste. Who knows, maybe if you get far enough you’ll start seeing boobs, and the forbidden eighth color, and who knows what other wonders, but it would take more effort than I can expend for News right now. You’ll have to forgive me. The best (and most mystifying) part of News are the voice clips played when you make a match. Based on everything else being taken from other sources, surely they have to be from another game? Or maybe they're sample clips? But I can’t find their origin for the life of me. They’re so good. I've provided a tasting of the soundscape for you here, because no words can do this guy justice.
I've had these wise words echoing through my mind for weeks. He's definitely saying "GAY!", and not "YAY!", right? Maybe I'm just hearing what I want to hear. Please carry this mystery voice's confidence with you into the future. If someone tells you there are better puzzle games out there than News, tell them to get lost!
What does it say about my priorities that I made this page before an actual Puyo Puyo page...?
Thank you for staying up to date on the News.
